Redefining Masculinity: What True Ideal Masculinity Really Is
What do you see in the picture above? Some might say, 2 men walking in the Octagon prepared with their stances and fighting abilities to conquer in competition that deter their skill as the best featherweight champion in the best night of UFC history. On the contrary others might say, that these are 2 aggressive men fighting each other with no real purpose with their barbaric nature in proving whose the strongest of them all. First of all notice, how these 2 statements has an implicit and explicit meaning. The first statement talks about the competition between 2 men and the second is that men should not be competing in a barbaric manner that would harm both individuals.
Most of you will agree that with taking the stance of the explicit meaning, in this world we should not fight each other because it is barbaric and cruel. And the fact that men should be more submissive, less aggressive, treat everybody in their lives with kindness. Therefore these masculinity traits should be abolished for men to improve, right? Well some parts are true but mostly are not and I will show you the reasons why.
The first aspect of toxic masculinity in society is the concept of suppressing emotions. Suppressing emotions is an unhealthy coping mechanism that could damage an individual’s mental health, there is truth in that in which emotions experienced whether male or female should be channeled by talking with someone or a therapist. Real masculinity does not mean that a man should suppress their emotions, instead real masculinity should be the excellent ability of a man to express their emotions by channeling their energy through the practice of the mind, soul, and body. In which a man should learn to not dwell and complain with self-pity in their emotions leading to a negative downward spiral. But learn to let go of those emotions through the practice of meditation, stoicism, and gratitude. A wise men once said, “If you conquer yourself, then you conquer the world.”
Then we come to second aspect of toxic masculinity in which it is fine for men to be weak in order for everyone to feel safe. Even I heard some claims in Tik-Tok that men should stop going to the gym just because “no one cares about muscles.” However, it is absurd because the progress of muscle building increases in health, body positivity, and self-confident in which everyone does care by seeing your progress. Linking back in which it is fine for men to be weak. It is a fixed mindset belief in order to adapt to that statement, sure there are men who are not born strong, charismatic, and tall in this world. But it is no reason to believe that they should stay that way, instead they should improve aspects of their weaknesses so they could help the others in need or others who are weaker than them. If men adapt the belief that it is fine to be weak then he should stay this way and not improve certain aspects, then it will lead to a spiral of hopelessness, pessimism, and purposeless life. This is the reason why generations of men these days are missing something and often lost in their path of life. Instead, true masculinity defines men in which being a strong, capable, and assertive men has a role to protect not to bully. As Professor Jordan B Peterson said, “A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very dangerous man who has that under voluntarily control.”
In conclusion masculinity does not always mean as a bad thing. A lot of people misinterpret the meaning and aspects of true masculinity in society. There are benefits that masculinity has done in civilization for example male self-reliance and even risk taking jobs that majority of men substitute for women (construction workers). Masculinity does not always need to revolve on the basis of men, in fact there are masculine women and feminine men. The thing to keep in mind is that both aspects of masculinity and femininity should support the role in society for better future where mutual benefit occurs.
